Just as the snake’s venom is found in the back of its head, that is exactly where you will find the venom that poisons you. It’s just not called venom. It’s called negative thoughts and beliefs. And just as a snake’s venom renders its victim paralyzed, so does your negative thoughts and beliefs.  However in this case, the victim is you.  Maybe you’ve heard the saying…’We have met the enemy and the enemy is us’.

Now a snake doesn’t just go around biting and poisoning things just for the fun of it.  Either one of two things happen…..the snake is either hungry or senses danger.  Humans on the other hand, ‘spit’ venom simply for sport.  When I say ‘spit’, I’m referring to what we say.  What we say to ourselves and to everyone we meet.  We tell ourselves a story (negative thoughts and beliefs), store it in the back of our heads (venom) and then ‘spew’ it all over the place.  And then we sit and wonder why our world is the way it is.  We don’t even realize that we are poisoning ourselves.  We are detrimental to our own mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. 

We poison ourselves which in turn renders us paralyzed.  We say we want more, bigger and better; however, we allow venom to gather in the back of our heads.  The venom tells us that we can’t, we shouldn’t, and we are not worthy.  We allow this venom to keep us living a life of complacency.  We stand on the brink of living our dreams yet the venom in the back of our heads keeps us from moving forward.

Just as the ‘milking of a snake’ is an ongoing process, so is the milking of your thoughts and beliefs.  It will take practice upon practice upon practice.  And just as the person milking the snake gets bitten, you’ll be bitten as well.  The key is to collect as much anti-venom as possible and have it ready and available.  Oh yes, there is an anti-venom for those thoughts and beliefs that poison your life.  And guess where it’s located?  Yep, you guessed it….In Your Head.  So see, you hold the venom AND the anti-venom in the same place.  You just have to decide which one to use.

I’ve mentioned one of my mentors, Byron Katie in another post (Are Your Thoughts Causing You Pain).  She has developed an anti-venom called The Work.  The Work is a simple yet powerful process of inquiry that teaches you to identify and question the thoughts that causes you to suffer. It’s a way to understand what’s hurting you, and to address the cause of your problems with clarity.  The Work encourages you to question everything.  Question every thought, every belief.  Question until you receive an answer that resonates with you.

Peace, light, love and many, many blessings…..

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/09/02  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

“Cry baby, cry baby suck yo mama titty”

If you grew up in the south, you either heard those words as a kid or you used them to taunt another kid.  Nobody, I mean nobody wanted to be called a Titty Baby.  But just in case you didn’t grow up in the south and you have no idea what a Titty Baby is, let me explain.  A Titty Baby is an adult who continues to get rent money, grocery money, cell phone money, etc from parents, friends, co-workers, any source other than their own. This person makes poor decisions with money because they know they have other people to bail them out.  Titty Babies complain about everybody and everything.  They blame others for whatever is going on (or not going on) in their lives.  Parents who have a titty baby will likely never be able to retire as they will continue to support said titty baby well into their retirement years. By the time the parents die, there is no milk left and therefore no inheritance for the other children.

We all  know someone who complains about everything.   Titty Babies tend to think that it is their job to point out all the problems with the world, while it’s your job to fix them. Most Titty Babies appear helpless and do not understand even the first step in the problem solving process. The trick in dealing with a Titty Baby  is to get them to think as problem solvers without allowing them to draw you into their constant complaining.  In other words, allow them the opportunity to solve their own damn problems without offering them your titty.  Cause believe you me, if you offer them the titty, they’ll suck you dry AND leave teeth marks.

Here are a few tips to assist you in the weaning process:

1. Never try to solve their problems. Any solution that you propose will only be met with more complaints and the thousand reasons why nothing ever works.

2. Never verbally agree with them. Even if you do agree with them, never admit your agreement. They usually take agreements as an invitation to complain some more.

3. Whenever they grumble, ask them open-ended questions designed to get them thinking about the problem and the problem solving process. Open-ended questions include any question that cannot be answered with a yes or no. The best open-ended questions usually begin with who, what, why, where, or how. These are questions like, “So what do you want to do about it?” “So what do you think caused it?’ “So why haven’t you spoken to the people involved?”

4. Most importantly, resist all of your natural impulses to offer them suggestions. Every suggestion you make will only be met with more reasons why suggestions never work. Instead, respond to everything they say with a question. Put the responsibility for changing their situations squarely in their laps.

5. If you want to end the conversation, but they keep talking, try setting a time limit. Tell them something like, “I need to go in a few seconds, so what exactly do you need to tell me before I go.” Usually after this, you can gently disengage the conversation.

I’ll leave you with a bottom line for handling Titty Babies. 

Light, love and blessings,

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/08/27  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

Prepare this tonic soup and drink up to 1 cup a day for three to four consecutive days after a menstrual cycle, refrigerating the tonic between uses. It is said to rejuvenate the uterus, warm the female organs, and regulate menstrual flow; it is also drunk after childbirth and to treat menopause.

Some women bodies may be balanced without Dong Quai and for them the herb may be overstimulating. Dong Quai can also be cooked with chicken broth, which supposedly triples the tonic’s blood-building quality while improving its flavor. This tonic should be taken in moderation, as too much can be over-warming to the body and can produce the opposite effect desired.

Dong Quai is sold in herb stores and some Chinese supermarkets. It is sold in ivory-colored knobs with fine brown veins; each knob is about 3/4 to 1 1/2 ounces. It is also sold in fat pear-shaped paper-thin slices, about 1/2 ounce each. The price can vary according to the quality; very ­ordinary quality can cost about $10 per pound. If you use dried red dates, the dates must be soaked and the pits ­removed; black dates only need to be rinsed. Sometimes I double steam the soup in individual portions, using the Chinese tureen with double lids to “contain” the aroma, as it can be strong.

• 2 to 4 dong quai knobs or 6 slices, about 3 ounces
• 8 Chinese dried red or black dates (hoong zoe or hock zoe)
• 2 quarts cold water or broth

1. In a 2 1/2 quart saucepan, combine the dong quai, dates, and cold water, and bring to a boil over high heat.

2. Cover, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer about 3 hours, or until the soup has reduced to about 4 cups. Strain.

3. Drink piping hot (no more than 1 cup per person). For the very adventuresome, the dong quai can be eaten, but be warned—it has a very powerful flavor even after three hours of ­cooking.

To Your Health,

J-licious

There have been so many times that I was inspired to either write or speak but held it in.  The Divine gave me a message and instead of speaking my truths,  I looked around for someone else to speak it for me.  To this day some of those messages remain undelivered.  This morning, I was reminded that there are times when a message is given to me, for me and is to be delivered by me.

To give you an example of what I’m writing about, I can go as far back as Biblical days with Moses.  You see Moses was ‘called’ to speak to Pharaoh.  The message he was to deliver was short and the instructions simple….’Let my people go’.  Yet, he came up with excuses as to why he should NOT be the one to deliver the message.  He was concerned that no one would believe him.  He was concerned about the fact that he stuttered and was not an eloquent speaker.  He even suggested that God send someone else.  Yet God remained God and explained to him that he would allow Aaron, his brother to ‘assist’ him; however, he (Moses) was the chosen messenger. (KJV Exodus 3rd and 4th chapters)

Even today, we still come up with excuses as to why we do not live the lives God has set before us.  We have reasons (EXCUSES) as to why we can not deliver the message that has been given to us.  We complain that we need help.  That we can not possibly do it alone.  God understands this and that is why She sends us angels to help.  We are never alone in our appointed tasks.  There are always angels (and sometimes demons) to help us along the way.

You may or may not have heard of the term ghost writers.  Ghost writers are professional writers who are paid to write books, articles, stories, reports, speeches or other texts that are officially credited to another person.  Some famous ghost writers in the music industry are:  Gillie Da Kid, The Dream, Missy Elliot, Keri Hilson, Faith Evans, Neyo, Babyface, and Timbaland.  The fore-mentioned talented ghost writers have written for many performing artists.  And those songs have reached #1 on many billboards.  This is a perfect example of being ‘assisted’ in delivering your message.  Both the ghost writer AND the artist had a message to convey and by collaboration, the message is delivered to the masses.

Another example is the famous “Normalcy, Never Again” speech given by Dr Martin Luther King, Jr.  That speech  is said to have been written by 3 of his colleagues, Dr Vincent Harding, Clarence Jones and Stanley Levison.  I think we all know the powerful messages conveyed in this speech.  However, most people do not know that Dr Martin Luther King, Jr had a little help in putting that speech together.  Now the thing I LOVE most about this speech is that it was empowered by a little prompting  of an outside force.  That outside force was none other than the late great Mahalia Jackson.  At the end of  this speech, Mahalia Jackson cried out to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr to….. ‘ Tell them about the dream, Martin’.  Upon hearing her cry, Dr King begin to deliver another message…..the message inspired by the Divine and given only to him.  That message is now entitled, ‘I Have A Dream.

I could go on and on giving out examples of other ghost writers and their counterparts (The Messengers); however, what’s most important  now is….Who’s gonna deliver YOUR message?

Waiting anxiously to hear what you have been given to share,

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/08/17  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

Audio Clip – Act Like You Know The Truth.

As I am coming out of my ‘dark night of the soul‘, I begin to read again.  I close my eyes and see the book I should pick up.  As I open my eyes, I am led to the bookcase and my hands reach out and touch Tapping the Power Within by Iyanla Vanzant.  I just LOVE Ms. Vanzant!!!!!!  I love her openness, her smile, and her vitality.  As a Life Coach, I incorporate much of her teaching into my practice.  Once I begin to re-read Tapping the Power Within, I realized why my soul chose this book.  Inside the book is a CD entitled, Act Like You Know The Truth.  This CD could not have come at a better time in my life.  For the past few months, I was in denial and pretended to be confused about what was happening inside, outside and all around me.  This CD reminded me that all the answers or truths that I could ever need to know lies within.  It reminded me to Act Like  I Know My Truth.

Lady Vanzant shares 7 steps to Acting Like You Know The Truth.  If you’ll take this journey with me, I would like to share my thoughts about these 7 steps.

1.  Never Underestimate Your Own Need, Ability, or Power to Create Change in Your Life – There comes a time when change is not only necessary it’s inevitable.  Nothing you can do or not do will stop change from occurring.  The conditions of your life are always speaking to you….LISTEN.  You know before anyone else that something is yearning for change.  And I’ve learned the hard way that when it hurts bad enough, you’ll make a change.  FACE the need in your life whether it’s your finances, your job, your relationships, your health (or lack thereof on all accounts).  Then get a vision for yourself on how you would like those areas to be, create the discipline within yourself, then watch the change from the inside to the outside.  You have the power within to make the change (transformation) as seamless and fluid as possible.  You only have to Act Like You Know The Truth.

2.  Mind Your Own Business First -  I suggest re-reading a post I wrote entitled My Business, Your Business and God’s Business.  This post was inspired by another ‘teacher’ of mine whose name is Byron Katie.  She is best known for her teaching of The Work.  It is a list of questions that will send you on a journey of self-discovery and release you from much of your self-inflicted suffering.   Ok, back to minding my own business….  As a ‘spiritual entrepreneur’, I have this ‘need’ to help people.  I see them ‘hurting’ and my first thought is, I Should Help Them.  Then I find myself all off in their business.  And when I turn around, I find that MY business is a mess.  I’ve neglected MY business for THEIR business and this does no one any good.  Does this sound like anyone you know?  Although, I can’t seem to pass up the crying baby, I am learning the skillful art of Acting Like I Know The Truth.  It’s their business, not mine.

3.  Seek Harmony – Most people seek balance in their life.  However, I have found that in balance nothing happens.  Imagine you’re back in high school or college in science lab in front of an equal arm scale.  You place an item on one arm of the scale.  What happens?  Yep, the other arm moves up.  As you place an item on the other arm, the scales begin to play a balancing act.  Once balance what happens?  You guess it, NOTHING.  The two arms just sit….BALANCED.  So instead of seeking balance, I’ve decided to seek harmony.  Harmony means you make a conscious choice and you communicate that choice to the people you love and care about.  Harmony means you create a life where everything you think, say or do supports every other part of your life.  Harmony is where your physical reality meets your spiritual reality.  Harmony is Acting Like You Know The Truth.

4.  Replace External Referencing With Inner Harmony (Authority) – External referencing is rampant today.  We compare ourselves to the people in the magazines, in the videos, in the movies and even on the billboards as we travel.  We become so caught up with what others think about us until we lose our inner harmony.  We give up our inner authority for external referencing.  At anytime that you make believe that you are somebody other than the truth of who you are, you are acting under a stolen identity.  You were created in the very likeness and image of God; therefore, you are perfect.  You better Act Like You Know The Truth and embrace the irreplaceable you.

5.  Stop Being Bad or Wrong – I repeat, you were created…better yet, you ARE the very likeness and image of God, you can’t be bad or wrong.  And if you don’t like the word God, you can interchange it with Universe, Life Source, Light….whatever makes you comfortable.   Although we are not bad, we can engage in bad behaviors.  And although we are not wrong, we can be in the process of learning and unfolding.  At our essence, our core, we are pure, we are innocent, we are powerful, we are love.  So Act Like You Know The Truth.

6.  Take Your Rightful Place – Take your rightful place in your life, in your world, in your universe as opposed to living from your defects and dysfunctions.  If you are in your own life disowning, denouncing, demeaning and dis-empowering yourself, you are sending an open invitation to every corner of the Universe for people, experiences, circumstances and situations to come in and join you in your self-mutilation.  It takes courage to stand in your rightful place.  There may be times when you have to let go.  Let go of people, places and things to take your rightful place.  So Act Like You Know The Truth.

7.  Go for the Joy – Some of us are conditioned to struggle.  It just doesn’t seem right if we don’t have to fight for it.  Remember just cause you can take a punch doesn’t mean you have to go around looking for a fight.  I agree with Ms. Vanzant when she suggests to bypass happiness and go straight for the joy.  Cause happiness can be influenced by the outside world.  Someone can do or not do something and that makes you happy.  And should they decide to do the opposite, then the opposite of happiness occurs.  Joy on the other hand is an internal state of being.  Joy is not determined or undermined by outside influences.  Joy just is…  Joy is Acting Like You Know The Truth.

Here’s to your rave performance of Acting Like You Know The Truth.

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/07/20  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

At one time I felt like a coward when entering my dark night.  I felt that I should be ‘fighting’.  Then I realized that to enter and come through a dark night takes courage. We can only enter the dark night if we accept the courage that comes from our Spirit.  You see, our Spirit knows what’s on the other end.  It’s the flesh that’s afraid.  And it is that courage that sustains us through a journey of agony, suffering and pain.  It is only by accepting the challenge that the dark night presents that we may emerge enlightened and liberated.  The agony and suffering that we experience through the journey transforms into unexplainable peace, joy and fulfillment.

I don’t know the many reasons that a dark night of the soul may present itself.  However, I do know that ultimately it is a matter between your Spirit and what you came into this existence to learn about who you truly are.  The dark night may be an offering by your Spirit to meet the challenge of purification of your life.  There may some things that you need to let go and some things you must embrace.  Whatever the reason, you must find every ounce of positive energy to bring you through and out to the other end of light.  Because it’s on the other end that you will meet your Higher Self.

I’ll see you on the other end…..

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/07/16  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

Unconditional Love Personified

See the picture of the man within this post?  That is a picture of my Uncle Eddie and he is Unconditional Love Personified!!!!  Every single time I saw him, he had that same smile (sometimes even larger) just for me.  He always reminded me of how special I am.  He always reminded me that I was loved, accepted and appreciated for being me.  He made sure to remind me….”You’re a Johnson” (although my last name is Keil).

My Uncle Eddie was oftentimes misunderstood.   However, now I realize that Unconditional Love Personified is often misunderstood.  It may be mistaken for weakness when it is the tie that binds family, friends and loved ones through the years and through some pretty rough times.  It may be mistaken for selfishness when it the most self-less, giving person one could ever know.  It may be mistaken for cold and heartless when in fact in it’s purest state burns a flame of heartfull love.  It may be mistaken as being untrustworthy when in fact you can ‘bet your life on it’.

I received a call on yesterday morning informing me that my Uncle Eddie died.  I knew he was ill, yet I refused to think he would leave me so soon.  Then I had to ask myself what is ‘so soon’?  And who am I to say it was ‘so soon’?  My answer…I was not willing to accept that everything has it’s timing.  There is a time for Unconditional Love Personified to grace me with his presence.  And there is a time for Unconditional Love Personified to grace me with his absence.  And although I would have liked him to stay around a little longer, I respect and honor his desire to shed the weight of his physical body.  And I will remain open to enjoying his spirit from time to time.  I love you Uncle Eddie and please know that your 1st Baby Dog-ing misses you greatly!!!!!

Death is nothing at all, you have only slipped
away into the next room. I am I, and you are you.
What ever we were to each other, that
we still are. I will call you by your old familiar name,
speak to you in the easy way which I
always used. Put no difference in my tone,
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes
we enjoyed together. Let your name be the household word
that it always was. Let it be spoken without effect,
without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means
all that it ever meant, It is the same as it ever was;
there is unbroken continuity, Why should you be
out of mind or heart because you are out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere
very near, just round the corner. All is well.

My first experience of the 3 came through a conversation with a new found friend.  Because I am learning to speak of the positive and not the negative, we were discussing areas in our lives that showed improvement.  Not areas that NEEDED improvement.  One of those areas for me was my finances.  When I inspected my financial history, I realized that I was earning more money and was much happier being self-employed than when I was working on a traditional corporate job.  The other area in my life that showed significant improvement was in the area of spirituality.  This caused me to wonder if there may have been a connection.  Did my finances improve because my connection with Source improved?  I tend to think it did.

My second experience of the 3 came to me in general thought.  I wondered why is it that the majority of ‘church-going’ people struggle in their relationships, their finances, and in their businesses?  Does God WANT His people to struggle?  And why do people talk down on ministers such as T.D. Jakes or Creflo Dollar saying that they are ‘money-hungry’ devils?  Isn’t God a prosperous God?  Aren’t His gifts abundant?  Or do I have it all backwards and we (God’s children) are suppose to suffer and live sub-par lives?

Finally my 3rd experience came when I happened upon Mary Mary’s video, God In Me.  I fell in love with the song when I first heard it.  And the more I listened, the more I liked it.  So, I looked for the lyrics online today.  What I found were people who said they were sickened by the message of the song.  I was like WHAT.  Are you kidding me?  You’re upset because someone is singing about their gifts and giving God the praise for them?  Wow!

Then it hit me.  Most people DO think that money, cars, homes, clothes, and even bling is a sin.  Well, not me.  

Light, Love and Liciousness,

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/04/27  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

When I first heard my uncle refer to a woman as an Anger Bat, I had to ask him to repeat what he said.  I thought I heard the words, but I had to be sure.  When he repeated himself, he also offered an explanation.  Here goes:

Anger Bat (noun) – Woman who is unhappy with herself and everything and everyone around her.  She lashes out at everything in her path.  No one is safe from her wrath.  She will curse, scream, kick and bite without warning.

Does that sound like anyone you know?  Does that sound like you?  Pain, anger and resentment reside so deeply within Anger Bats that their insides are rotting.  No wonder they are diagnosed with “The Sugar” (diabetes), cancer, high blood pressure, chronic heart failure, fibroid tumors, ovarian cysts.  All the hate, rage and pain has not only caused the dis-ease within her body, it has also created an Anger Bat.

If you say there are no good men and you have sons, you say to your sons…YOU ARE NO GOOD.  If you say there are no good men and you have daughters, you say to your daughters…YOU ARE NO GOOD. 

The first relationship a man has is with his mother. He comes from her womb. 

You may say that you have every right to be angry.  And you know what?  You would be correct.  You do have every right to your anger; however, is that right to anger working for or against you?  I would be so bold as to say it’s working against you.  Not only is it working against you, it’s working against your partner and your children.  And keep in mind, you also have every right to happiness, peace, joy and love.

Light, Love and Liciousness,

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/04/25  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

1.  Be generous with your smile.  It’s free but can turn a challenging day into a brighter one.

2.  Surprise someone with an unexpected thoughtful gift no mater how small.

3.  Call and checkup on a friend to make sure they are ok.

4.  Share an act of kindness with a stranger.  Pay for their meal, gas or groceries.

5.  Volunteer time to help the homeless.

6.  Send a handwritten letter, postcard or email telling someone why you appreciate them.

7.  Give to a person who seeks help without judging their intentions.

8.  Mentor a child in need.

9.  Show up at your friend’s special events.

10. Remember your friend’s birthday and do something special for them.

11.  Accept, unconditionally the people around you.

Light, Love and Liciousness,

J-licious