I have for many years been ignorant of the power that I possess by simply being born a Woman.  There were times when I considered my Femininity a curse. Not until a few years ago, did I come to realize the Divinity that is Femininity. And today, I make it a point to remind other women of the Divine that resides within them.  We must learn to honor every part of who we are.  This includes honoring our Yoni.

The Yoni has been called by many names which I’m sure I don’t have to list here.  Sanskrit in origin, the broad interpretation is “holy space”.  The Yoni is the gateway of the womb which is absolute divine presence and power.  When a woman’s Yoni is truly activated it brings her man to heights and depths of consciousness which are difficult to attain even with years of doing what I call inner work.  The only requirement is Love.  In order to awaken the divine element within the Yoni a woman must first possess a true love and understanding of the role the feminine plays in creating this universe. There is a dire need for women to truly embody the ultimate potential of their being and dissolve herself into the divine energy of the Goddess.

Unfortunately the woman has just been used as an instrument of sensual/sexual entertainment and as an emotional garbage can. Whenever a woman receives a man’s penis in her Yoni while he is in negative emotions, the residue of those emotions and thought forms stay in the Yoni of that woman. This creates stagnation and blocks in her serene flow of energies and compromises the sense of peace and stillness within herself.

Women whose heart and Yoni have opened completely have the power to change the face of the Earth. And the first step towards this absolute embodiment is to cleanse the Womb and Yoni from the energetic residue of conditioning and emotions left in it by the outer world and her sexual experiences. A Yoni is regarded as the very source from which the universe emerges; it nurtures existence and dissolves matter and form back into the universal blackness.

The power to create and nourish existence of life is not an easy task and what manifests out of that power is totally dependent upon what spiritual state the woman is in. If the woman is in joy, even a cave carries more beauty than a palace, when the woman is in utter distress a castle carries the fragrance of ruin. Woman is the ultimate beauty, and she intoxicates the environment around her with it. At the very core of her being resides the Source of the universe.   We are the Creators of Life.  Create Consciously with integrity and with honor.

Jacque

One of my Facebook friends, Elijah Hakim-Adonijah, made the statement….Smart is the new Sexy. Hakim, I could not agree with that statement more. Hakim asked that I record a video expounding on that statement. But before I did, I had to do a little research on the subject of what men found sexy in a woman. I’m glad I did. Because what I learned was quite enlightening for me.

What I found was when I asked several of my male friends what they found Sexy in/about a woman, their answers had nothing to do with sex. What I found was the things that they found Sexy in a woman were things they respected about her. That caused me to ask a few internal questions. One of them…..if what they find sexy about a woman has nothing to do with sex, then what causes them to look at a woman and think….I wanna have sex with her. My answer……the word PROVOCATIVE.

The word provocative comes from the word ‘provoke’. And although Sexy and Provocative BOTH provoke, they provoke on different levels. Allow me to give you examples of what my male friends shared with me.

Sexy – Woman who takes care of her NATURAL self ( eats healthy, exercises, cares for her ‘natural’ body)
Provocative – Video Vixens, weave, extensions, lashes, boobs….etc

Sexy – Woman who cooks and cleans her home
Provocative – Woman who dines out frequently because she can’t cook, clubs and parties on the weekend and her home looks like a tornado just came through it

Sexy – Woman who provides for, disciplines, and takes time to teach her children
Provocative – Woman who ignores her children to spend time with him

Sexy – Woman who is well spoken with an extensive vocabulary.
Provocative – Woman who’s vocabulary only consists of a vast amount of profane and vulgar words. Woman who butchers the English language and it’s her primary language

Sexy – Woman who innerstands that her body is for his pleasure and not for every man she comes into contact with
Provocative – Woman who uses her body to gain the attention and validation she seeks from EVERY man she encounters

Sexy – Woman who earns and respects her money. She invests, saves and spends wisely
Provocative – Woman who spends every cent she earns on things that will depreciate as soon as she leaves the store with it and then turns around and asks him for money to pay her bills

Sexy – Woman who reads and seeks out information that will improve her life, the life of her family, and her community
Provocative – Woman who never reads or only reads fiction romance books. Woman who spends her down time sitting in front of a television

Now do you see the difference between Sexy and Provocative? Yes, they both provoke; however, sexy has the ability to provoke a man’s nature to protect and provide where provocative provokes a man’s nature to bed you and leave you. Not to mention that all the things I mentioned that men found sexy were also SMART. So there you have it…..Smart IS the new Sexy.

Another Smart Move….visit HakimSpeaks.

J’licious

I know a few people who engage in sex as a sport.  To their friends they talk about how much fun they are having.  They smile as they share their escapades.  Yet when I’ve sat down with them in intimate conversation, they share a very different story.  They tell stories of disgust….of themselves and their sexual partners.  They share how they feel unclean and dirty.  They tell stories of lies and deceit.  They question why they even continue in such acts.  They also share stories of unquestioned pain and even loneliness.  They even secretly wish they knew how to stop.  How ironic is that?  Although they have multiple partners, they still feel a sense of loneliness.

Now on the other hand we have another type of union.  We have what I call Sacred Sex.  There is more to sex than what our parents, teachers, television, internet or society has told us.  There is a sacredness about sex that most couples have yet to experience.  Sex involves the mind and the spirit as well as the body.  The sacredness of a sexual union releases a powerful force within the body that can be harnessed to take you well beyond an orgasm into a higher state of consciousness.

Your sexuality is a precious part of your nature and deserves to be treated with honor and respect.  In order to reach the level of sacredness that I am writing about, there must be a high level of trust between partners.  When you fully trust and reverence your partner, there are no sexual boundaries or rules except those decided between the two of you.  The sacredness of sex develops as you open up to each other, sharing your thoughts, feelings, fears, desires and fantasies.  Not only does this allow for a more rewarding relationship, it also allows for a more rewarding sexual relationship.

As temperatures continue to fall as we enter into our winter season, cuddle, touch, kiss, rub feet.  Honor yourself and your partner by connecting in a sacred way.

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/10/16 Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

“You can never know the journey of another person. You can never know what is being birthed. Resist the need to judge or compare because you just don’t have enough information.”

I’m not much of a TV watcher and I am definitely not into the ‘NEWS’.   However, I could not escape all the media attention given to Bishop Eddie Long these days.  Long story (no pun intended) short, Bishop Long has been accused by four young men of using his ‘spiritual authority’ to win sexual favors.  It is well known that Bishop Long preaches against homosexuality and same-sex marriages.  As a matter of fact,  in December 2004 Bishop Long led a “Re-Ignite the Legacy” march through the streets of Atlanta, GA to, in his own words, “present a vision of righteousness and justice.”

Now the story of ‘fallen’ preacher is not new.  And the story of  religious leaders accused of sexual crimes has been told and re-told countless times.  Most of those stories tell the tale of homosexuality and coercion.  Why is that?  Could it be because same-sex encounters would prevent pregnancies, unwanted children and proof?  Possibly.  Or could it be because same-sex encounters has the sting of not only guilt but SHAME?  And with shame (as we all know) things are kept hidden.  No one speaks about what they are ashamed of.  And when they do speak, it’s usually about what the other person has done to them.  They usually play the Shame Blame Game.

One thing for sure, these accusations against Bishop Long has people talking.  Talking about their own experience with sexual abuse and their beliefs regarding sexual orientation.  People are now sharing their lives openly when before they were too ashamed.  Have you noticed that when one accuser steps up that 2, 3 , and maybe even more begin to come forward?  That’s because now they don’t feel so alone.  They don’t feel so ashamed.  They now understand that there are others that have experienced similar things in their lives.  They now have what I would call a “comradery of victims”.

I am not writing to convict or to prove innocence in Bishop Long’s case.  As the beginning of my post suggests, I just do not have enough information to make that call.  And honestly, I don’t think it’s my call to make. Nor am I writing to ‘make small’ of the accusers accusations.  I applaud them for regaining control of their lives by speaking out.   I am writing however,  to suggest that whatever has happen in your lives that you hold YOURSELVES accountable.

You see, we all agree to come here (earth) to fulfill a certain purpose.  Most of us have yet to figure out our own purpose.  How can we possibly figure it out for someone else? 

Sending light, love and blessings you way,

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/10/02  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

Self-pleasure is accepted and expected among men; however, the opposite is expected of women. In spite of the sexual revolution, female masturbation is still somewhat taboo. Couples generally do not discuss the subject of masturbation which is a shame because if men and women were more open to the possibilities of self-love then there opens up the possibility for couples to really spice up their sex life and for more intense and pleasurable orgasms.  How can you tell/show your partner what works for you, if you don’t know?

Self pleasure is the only way for a person to really learn their body and what pleases them. To really get the most from love-making with your sexual partner you must know your own body first. This is true for both men and women. You must explore your own body and listen to what it tells you. Self pleasure and exploration is the key to better love-making.  Masturbation can be a very empowering learning tool for women – it teaches us about our bodies, and how it responds to sexual stimulation. Many normal and healthy women only experience an orgasm while masturbating, or find it is their most intense type of orgasm. I can not tell you the number of times my close friends or clients have told me that they have never experienced an orgasm with their partner.

While it is certainly unfounded and untrue, the majority of people believe that women are less sexual than men.   Where do you think the term ‘cougar’ comes from?  We are led to believe that women think about sex and desire sex much less. Society creates outcasts of women who are openly sexual. We are seen as promiscuous or as whores.  This results in women believing they should not have strong sexual feelings and desires. Unfortunately, many women are ashamed to admit they become ‘horny’. This results in women introverting and denying their own sexual feelings and desires. While a woman’s desire for sex may change with time, they are overall just as sexual as men. If a woman accepts that she is equally as sexual as a man, she is more likely to feel comfortable with her desire to ‘please herself’.  Once you know what you enjoy sexually, it will be possible to share that information with your partner and ask for what you want and need sexually.

Enjoy,

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/02/04  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

As I sat to pen this post, I was lost for words.  I’ve attempted to express my views on this subject for several weeks.  I tried to come up with the perfect confabulation and just decided to let this artist, Kassondra Rockswell speak.  She speaks ‘The Truth” and there’s no denying that.  Well, you could deny it; however, it’s still ‘The Truth’.  In her words:

THE RETURN OF THE CHROMOSOME X MUSIC MOVEMENT
by Kassondra Rockswell

The RCXMM is a call and response.

It is a response to the lack of intelligent, powerful women in the music industry spotlight. Though we may be visible in the game and pretty in the pictures, we are still mostly engaged as cheerleaders– sideline dimes who sing hooks on other rappers’ records.

RCXMM is a call for female creators to “get in the game.” While we are holding up the world as hardworking, multifaceted creatures–mothers, business women, counselors, chefs, chauffeurs, rock stars–we are singing along to superficial bullshit with anthems that do not define who we truly are. We have plentiful testimonies of beauty and struggle and joy that remain undocumented, yet it is our responsibility to record them.

It is a response to the inundation of gyrating nakedness and the need to exchange tits and ass for a few moments in a music video. We appear so powerless in the media–shakin’ and shit, eyes wide shut and closed-mouthed–while using our voices to say nothing. Sex and sexiness have a place, but we must be naked by our own creative terms, according to when we deem it is appropriate or necessary–not because some one else has mandated it for us.

RCXMM is a call to women creators. We, as women, are ultimately responsible for how the world views us–whether it holds us up high with respect or looks down upon us with disdain. We have given up our hip-hop governance like plastic toy keys to mumbling children who neither read nor write…nor respect us. Now…it is time. We owe it to ourselves to take control of the game.

So…pick up a pen, drop a line, coin a phrase, write a word, rock a mic, REPRESENT, and set the record straight.

I, Kassondra ROCKSWELL am setting it off.

My first single, ESTROGEN, from my forthcominng music album, GEMINI, will be released the first week of 2010 to initiate this movement.

Stay Tuned, Stay Focused, Stay Ready
Rocks

In today’s society, if someone is considered sexy, it could very well ‘buy’ them out of that traffic ticket.  It could get you into the night club without waiting in line.   It could ‘buy’ them a position within a company.  It could ‘buy’ then an A+ in school.  It could even ‘buy’ you into a marriage of convenience.  It appears that everyone loves ‘sexy’.  The question is..what IS sexy?  What defines your sexiness?  So I put this question out to my male friends and you will be surprised at the responses.  Here goes the top 5:

1.  People can be sexy even though they might not be the best looking person in the world,it’s just their vibes and personality and how they carry themselves

2.  I find power,  self-confidence, compassion and intelligence sexy.

3.  It is a visual image that heightens sexual arousal.

4.  Sexy is confidence in who you are as a person. It has nothing to do with your dress. It’s the way you move, the way you laugh and smile. It lures you into the person. You remember “You gotta move like the waves in the ocean”. It’s your flow.

5.  SEXY-It first starts with the personality.  I feel that if a woman has her priorities in line, got a lot good going for her,  don’t need to depend on a man and is independent.

Now to MY definition….Sexy is his glance at me from across the room.  You know that look that says ‘I wanna tear you down right now, this very minute.  The look that makes the two of you ‘run to the car right quick’.  Sexy is the way he supports the small of my back as he opens the door or as I climb the stairs.  Sexy is the way he strolls in from a day of work.  Sexy is the way he reaches inside his pocket and says…’go head, you can buy that’.  Sexy is his penmanship on the check that pays ALL the bills.  Sexy is the way he says, “NO” and means it.  Sexy is how he shares with me his dreams AND his fears.  Sexy is how he allows me to participate in reaching our goals.  Sexy is how he fulfills his role as the man without tearing me down as a woman.  I could go on, but I think you get the idea.  So you see, sexy is not about the actual sexual act.  It’s about all those things that may lead up to…..

So, what’s your definition of sexy?

In love,

J-licious

© Copyright 2010/01/12  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

I also had to ask myself, when did sex become shameful?  A few weeks ago, I had the privilege to hear an interview with Lois Hollis on Party 934.  She was discussing and promoting her latest book,  Sex and the Shame Factor.  She spoke openly about sex and how not only the act has become taboo, but the word itself.  She discussed how sex is now being seen as shameful.  How we’ve gotten away from the spirituality of sex and turned it pornographic.

I’m not sure about you, but when I was growing up, my ‘birds and the bees’ lesson went a little something like this……”Don’t do it til you’re married”.  Well, that didn’t tell me a damn thang.  I didn’t even know what birds and bees had to do with sex anyway.  And what the hell was ‘it’?  I was sheltered, very sheltered.  And I realized early that if I were going to learn anything about sex I was going to have to read a book.  But sex is not something that you learn from a book.  Sex is to be experienced.  And in my opinion, I think that’s how it was meant to be learned.

I also learned shame at an early age.  It was shameful to even think about sex and you certainly could not ask questions.  No one wanted to openly discuss sex.  Not my parents, not my grandparents, not my teachers, not even my spiritual leaders.  That is one of the reasons I openly discuss sex with my children.  Because I know that if we don’t talk about it, they will find someone who will.  And usually that someone is a peer who is looking for answers themselves.

As a mother, I feel it my duty to teach my children about self-respect and to respect others, self-love and to love others.  I firmly believe that when we instill in our children self-respect and self-love, we will find ourselves living a different world.  When we teach them to love and respect their bodies and the bodies others, the number of teenage parents will drastically decrease, HIV/AIDS will no longer have bodies to infect, and we will see a more spiritually developed world.  So, let’s not keep our children in the dark….

Let’s talk about sex,

J-licious

© Copyright 2009/09/22  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved

Sensuality
1. sensual nature: the sensuality of Keats’s poetry.
2. unrestrained indulgence in sensual pleasures.
3. lewdness; unchaste.
or
The quality or state of being sensual or lascivious.
Excessive devotion to sensual pleasure.

And

Sexuality
1. sexual character; possession of the structural and functional traits of sex.
2. recognition of or emphasis upon sexual matters.
3. involvement in sexual activity.
4. an organism’s preparedness for engaging in sexual activity.
or
The condition of being characterized and distinguished by sex.
Concern with or interest in sexual activity.
Sexual character or potency.

As you can see these two words, although similar in nature, are quite different.

As the title of my blog was being formed in my mind, I struggled with it.  I thought if I named it ‘-licious’ people would get the wrong idea.  They would think it was about sex and that is so not what my blog is all about.  Then it came to me.  That’s the very reason, I am writing.  To explain to women (men too) that there is a -liciousness within us that has absolutely nothing to do with sex.  It has everything to do with our attitude, our confidence, our minds, and even our mindset.  Our -liciousness has nothing to do with WHAT we see in the mirror, but how we FEEL about what we see.  Do we love ourselves enough to show our sensual sides?  Are we confident enough in our own skins to walk the streets with our heels clacking, our hips swaying and our heads held high?

To be sensual means to be consciously aware of your surroundings. It’s being encapsulated in the deliciousness of what you smell, touch, hear, taste and see. In the right state of mind, you can make anything in life a sensual experience: eating chocolate or enjoying a sumptuous meal, meditating or focusing on your breath, walking the beach and feeling the breeze on your face and the sand beneath your feet, watching a sunset, dancing and feeling your body move through space, smelling flowers in a garden, looking into the face of a loved one, painting or working with clay or working in your career.   Oh yeah, even when making love.

Think about it? Outside of the bedroom, just how sensual are you? Do you save the soft sheets for company? Your favorite outfit for a special occasion? Do you buy flowers only for special events? Light candles and put on sexy panties and perfume when it’s time to make love? Are you only sensual when other people are watching?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask yourself….WHY.  Why wait?

Make a commitment to yourself to notice the sensuality of the world around you. Take some time each day and vow to experience your world from a sensual perspective. Take a walk and notice the sounds, sights, smells, textures and tastes around you. Do the housework in your pretty panties or none at all.  Listen to music that moves you from the inside out. Make dinner a sensual feast. From the laundry room to the bedroom and everywhere in between, explore the sensual you and learn how to use your unique sensibilities to create an extraordinary atmosphere in which to live, love and of course, make love. Stop looking at your sensuality as a sexual perk and start enjoying it 24/7. Because when you feel like a sensual woman you behave like one. And that confidence is the true secret to driving your partner wild in bed.

Sensuality comes from the inside and exudes without you even being aware of it. And it is nothing to be ashamed of.  It is what you do with it that makes the difference, but to enhance it is not a bad or taboo thing.

Men, don’t you agree?

In love,

J-licious

© Copyright 2009/07/13  Jacque Keil All Rights Reserved