Got A Big Ego

Just watched a video by Milo Edwards.  He spoke about the ego which inspired me to write this post.  In  The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way, written by Wayne Dyer he outlines seven steps for overcoming your ego.  This is my take on each step.

Step 1) “STOP BEING OFFENDED” Believe it or not, everything is NOT about you.  Stop taking things so personally.  I have been guilty of this for years and I’m still working on releasing this part of myself.  I used to think that every ‘bad’ thing happened because of me.  I thought that my partner cheated because I was not good enough.  I thought potential clients chose another company because I was unable to provide the level of service they needed.  I am now beginning to understand that those were THEIR personal preferences.  Their choices did not have anything to do with me.  Their choices had EVERYTHING to do with them.

Step 2) “LET GO OF YOUR NEED TO WIN” Now this one can be a bit tricky because winning is a sure way to get an immediate ego boost. But Dyer points out that you can’t win all the time.  If losing devastates you, it’s because you’re getting your IDENTITY mixed up with winning and losing. The only thing that’s been lost is how you think about yourself. In other words, the loss has occurred to the ego, not to who you truly are.

Step 3) “LET GO OF YOUR NEED TO BE RIGHT” Why is being right so important to you? Because again, it strengthens your ego.  But what happens when you’re right and your son or daughter is wrong? Or your husband or wife is wrong? Are you able to let go of being right then? Or do you have to prove you’re right, even if it means proving that someone you love is wrong at all costs?

“I’ve seen people end otherwise beautiful relationships by sticking to their need to be right. I urge you to let go of this ego-driven need to be right by stopping yourself in the middle of an argument and asking yourself, Do I want to be right or be happy?” says Dyer.

Step 4) “LET GO OF YOUR NEED TO BE SUPERIOR” By being in competition with yourself, working to improve your way of being in the world, your focus shifts from lecturing and judging others, to improving yourself.  Just be careful not to judge yourself because this defeats the purpose.  Remember you are a spiritual being having a human experience just like your neighbors.

Dyer points out that “We are all equal in the eyes of God.” So if God sees us as equal, then how can we be superior (or inferior) to another person?

Step 5) “LET GO OF YOUR NEED TO HAVE MORE” Being grateful can be difficult if you are never satisfied with what you have already been blessed with.   The perpetual chase of ‘that paper’ will leave you feeling shallow, unrewarding, and meaningless.  Also, be willing to let go of what is no longer necessary.  Having more clothes, for example, doesn’t make us better people. It doesn’t even make our lives easier. Having a lot of clothes that are too small, too big, outdated, or stained simply gets in the way. But the ego feels deflated when it looks in the closet and sees empty spaces.  Remember you are NOT your possessions.

“The mantra of the ego is more. It’s never satisfied. No matter how much you achieve or acquire, your ego will insist that it isn’t enough,” says Dyer.

Step 6) “LET GO OF IDENTIFYING YOURSELF ON THE BASIS OF YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS” In the eastern part of our world, people are taught to give praise and honor to God for allowing all good things.  They do not take it upon themselves to gloat about their achievements.  In my opinion, they have a better understanding about how life works.  Dyer urges us to let go of identifying with our achievements because alone, we don’t achieve anything. “God writes all the music, God sings all the songs, God builds all the buildings, God is the source of all your achievements,” he stresses.

Step 7) “LET GO OF YOUR REPUTATION” I would like to think that most people consider me kind, gentle, understanding and willing to offer my assistance where needed.  I would like to think that most people like me.  But the truth is, there is someone out there that is not so fond of me.  For years this plagued me.  I desperately wanted to be liked.  Actually, I desperately wanted to be loved and accepted.  So I would do things that were not in alignment with who I am.  No longer does this desire control me.  I have learned that you can’t please everyone.  Someone is going to be unhappy with me and you know what?  I’m perfectly fine with people’s dislike of who they think I am.

According to Dyer, what people think about you is beyond your control, so your shouldn’t waste time obsessing about it. “Your reputation is not located in you,” he says. “It resides in the minds of others. Therefore, you have no control over it at all. If you speak to 30 people, you will have 30 reputations.”

I implore you to consider each step and begin to step out of your ego and into your greatness.

In love,

J-licious