Let’s Talk About Sex

September 22, 2009

Recently several of my Facebook friends posted a video on my wall. The video showed children being taught and encouraged to dance in a fashion that simulated sex. As you might imagine, people were outraged. They wanted to find out where these children lived and call their local Child Protective Services. When I looked at the video, I have to admit I wasn’t ready. Then again…….yes I was. When I consider today’s Rap/Hip-Hop/R&B music videos, dances that simulate sex is normal these days.

I also had to ask myself, when did sex become shameful? A few weeks ago, I had the privilege to hear an interview with Lois Hollis on Party 934. She was discussing and promoting her latest book, Sex and the Shame Factor. She spoke openly about sex and how not only the act has become taboo, but the word itself. She discussed how sex is now being seen as shameful. How we’ve gotten away from the spirituality of sex and turned it pornographic.

I’m not sure about you, but when I was growing up, my ‘birds and the bees’ lesson went a little something like this……”Don’t do it til you’re married”. Well, that didn’t tell me a damn thang. I didn’t even know what birds and bees had to do with sex anyway. And what the hell was ‘it’? I was sheltered, very sheltered. And I realized early that if I were going to learn anything about sex I was going to have to read a book. But sex is not something that you learn from a book. Sex is to be experienced. And in my opinion, I think that’s how it was meant to be learned.

I also learned shame at an early age. It was shameful to even think about sex and you certainly could not ask questions. No one wanted to openly discuss sex. Not my parents, not my grandparents, not my teachers, not even my spiritual leaders. That is one of the reasons I openly discuss sex with my children. Because I know that if we don’t talk about it, they will find someone who will. And usually that someone is a peer who is looking for answers themselves.

As a mother, I feel it my duty to teach my children about self-respect and to respect others, self-love and to love others. I firmly believe that when we instill in our children self-respect and self-love, we will find ourselves living a different world. When we teach them to love and respect their bodies and the bodies others, the number of teenage parents will drastically decrease, HIV/AIDS will no longer have bodies to infect, and we will see a more spiritually developed world. So, let’s not keep our children in the dark….

Let’s talk about sex,

J-licious

Princess T. Wreh

I understand exactly what you mean. I remember one day visiting my father who is super religious, and I had my BABYPHAT top on. On the front of the shirt was the words ‘SEXY,’ well my dad threw a fit about my clothing style and behavior about taking something as sex and flaunting it in front of my children. Okay, I’m a grown woman with two kids and my dad is yelling at me in front of my kids, because my top has sex written on it. While I didn’t respond to my dad about his unnecessary outburst, I thought about my life as a child. I was never told about sex, by my parents and when I first heard about it, I was at church, pledging that I would be a virgin till I was married. Well isn’t that nice! pledging to abstain from something I knew nothing about. Why is sex such a taboo topic? My take on past generations is that, they themselves had really deep thoughts about sex and were suppressed from hearing or studying about it. This leads to kids having kids, unwanted diseases and high increase in abortion related deaths. I’ve made a pact with myself, my kids will hear sex lecture from my mouth, and not only will I tell them the exact facts, I’m leaving out the freaking birds and bees, I mean really, animals? I rather they hear it from me like I give every advice about life, sex should be one of the main topic and most important. If they don’t hear it from you,the parent(s), they will experiment and develope the wrong ideas about it from friends or their peers. My dad still forbids the kids from saying any words with sex in it. I can’t wear my favorite “Sex in the City” t-shirt or anything that mentions SEX around my dad! What a shame! he has four kids, and never told any of us about sex. I was fortunate that I never got pregnant at a young age, but many of my cousins are headed in that direction. one of my closest cousins got pregnant in high school, the very first time she had sex. We need to except that fact that we are all in a different era, lets teach the kids what they need to know so that music videos, or the media don’t have major influences on their lives.
Rickey Benns

Parents do their best with the tools that they have. Unfortunately, the best just doesn’t seem to be good enough. What I mean by good enough is they don’t seem to be able to produce the desires that they are wanting.

I believe that SEX is acronym for Something Extraordinary Xceptional but rarely do we see it like that. I didn’t see the videos but I don’t need to. All I have to do is turn on any Beyonce video and I can see a similar antic being portrayed.

The people who were outraged by the videos what exactly are they doing to make a change besides threatening to call CPS? What you resist ….persists.

If you take on all the worlds pains then you must take on all the worlds joys. If the intent is to make a change then start a sex education class to teach the young what you wish them to know. If you fight this from an external viewpoint you will be fighting a losing battle.

All the dancing you see is an internal thing not an external one. Sex is neutral. We take sex just like marriage and try and make it nasty and dirty. We take sex and make it a thing not to be discussed openly. What we failed to realize is that sex is just like the Blob (some of you may be too young to remember the Blob) it will seep through any crack or crevice to have its presence known.

Be the change that you wish to see in the world. Those kids learned it from somewhere. Look in your own closets before you start to call CPS.
April

Yes!

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